It's been years since Odysseus left you behind. "I'll be back in a jiffy, honey," he'd said airily, twirling his spear. "Those Trojans will hand over Helen on a plate, easy-peasy. War? It'll be all over in five minutes, and it only takes a couple of weeks to go from Troy back to Ithaca. You won't even know I'm gone."

As Penelope, sail to Troy, kill monsters, break the fourth wall, defy historical accuracy, and bring your husband back home!
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